The Lifestyle has so many wonderful people to choose from. You can be a couple or a single. You can be skinny, average, large or BBW. You can be gay, bi, transgender, cross dresser. Maybe you like BDSM, water sports, or playing with toys. You can be any age (legal age), any religion or any language. It is all here.
 
Many of us in the Lifestyle are meeting others online. It seems safe and easy. I have heard horror stories where I wondered “is this really safe?” And I have found it not so easy. Not everyone is honest, not everyone shows up, and it is time consuming. So whether you meet at a club (much more fun) or online here are some tips for success:

Be honest!

Be honest with yourself, your partner and potential playmates. As we are growing up we are not really taught to be honest. As a child, we are told to tell the truth. What does that mean? What we do is answer in a way that we will not get into trouble and people will still like us. So as we grow, we carry that same idea with us. We start being what others want, not necessarily who we are.  This is the time to stop all that. BE yourself, and if you are not sure who that is, find out. After my fist marriage I was asked what I liked to do. I did not have an answer. I had always done what he wanted so I would be loved. I was asked if I had any fantasies and I said “no”.  I then started down the road of self discovery. No, not masturbation (however that can be fun to learn.)

I had to learn about me all over again. What do I like sexually and in life in general? Know what you like and how you like to play. Know what kind of relationship you want and what kind of fun you are looking for. Success in the Lifestyle is dependent on an honest relationship, with you, with your partner and potential play partners. We were in a group situation and I was sitting on my husband’s dick while giving a guy a blow job. The guy I was sucking started to cum so I pulled off and he came all over my breast. WOW! I had no idea how exciting that was. I now had another way to play and even set up situations for male cum on my body. I discovered something about me and I liked it. Get out there and explore.

Be honest when you post your profile and photos. If the idea is to meet someone, then why not be truthful? Do you think that they will be so blown away with you once you meet that they will ignore their rules or preferences? It does not happen. So be honest and meet people who are truly interested in you and play like you play. We knew a couple a few years back that we felt was attractive. However, on their profile they had placed their heads on someone else’s body. Why is that necessary? It does not make sense to be something you are not when your intention is to meet. If you are 150lbs and say you are 110, don’t you think they will notice the weight gain when they meet you? If you do not like BDSM, do not say you do just because there is a couple that you find attractive and would like to play with. They do not play the way you do and it will be a bad experience. Watch out for couples who seem too good to be true, they probably are. Trust your instincts.

Here are some phrases to avoid and some great ones to add to your profile if they fit.  The term “we are an athletic couple” What does that mean? Does it mean you jog, run a marathon, and are into sports? Does it mean you have muscles popping out, tight abs and ass? Or does it mean you like to do things outdoors. Since that is a relative term, it is best to say “we work out, or we like to hike or “I can pick a quarter up with my ass.”

What about the term “we are not like Barbie and Ken.”  Does that mean you are not plastic? Does it mean you do not have a size 52 breast, size 3 shoes and no dick? Or does it mean you are not society’s idea of beautiful?  We use the term “not Barbie and Ken” but then quantify what we are. “We are about 10% over weight.” One profile I read said “we are pleasant in appearance.”  If you are not sure what to say ask a friend how they would describe you and use their words.

More to come