About lifestyle clubs
What is a 'lifestyle' on-premise club?
On-premise is when the club owns or leases the facilities. Many on-premise clubs are homes that have been entirely or partially converted for club use. Others are night clubs in business districts. They have set business hours and people can attend any time during those hours. They do not typically have ‘socials’ at specific times. Sex takes place on the premises and therefore liquor cannot be sold. In some situations patrons may bring their own alcohol, and mixers are provided by the club. In others there can be no alcohol on the property.
Singles - both male and female - are typically allowed and encouraged at on premise clubs, although the guys pay a premium and the ladies often get in free or at reduced rates. Some clubs will allow as many singles as possible, others limit the number of single men. Many couples seek out the single guys for threesomes and gang bangs. However, if you are one of those couples who are put off by singles, never fear. Most clubs have aeas for couples only. No singles allowed.
What is a 'lifestyle' off-premise club?
Off-premise clubs organize socials or mixers for their members at a location such as a hotel or bar. The social is typically a dance where people can dance, flirt and get to know other couples in a non-threatening environment. They do not allow sex at the mixers, so alcohol can be served. If you are a little shy or uncertain, this is a great venue for you to test the waters. The organizers often provide 'after party' rooms where you can become more intimate.
There is a wide disparity in the singles philosophy of off-premise clubs. Many do not allow single guys or have a limit to how many can attend. Single ladies are almost aways welcome. Best to call or check their web site.
What to expect
Most clubs have a dress code. Some offer newbie seminars. Most clubs have an area that is devoted to socializing - no sex allowed. You can dance, chat, and get to know potential play partners.
Think you are too (fill in the blank) old, young, big, small? Or maybe not pretty or handsome enough? We thought so too. When we finally got up the nerve to attend a lifestyle event, we thought we would not fit in. We were wrong. There was every shape - size - age - color you can imagine. Contrary to popular myth, not all swingers are thirtysomethings with killer bodies. Yeah, they're out there, but they are not the majority. The lifestyle is more about attitude than looks.
Some clubs cater to a particular demographic, so check their web site or give them a call.
Swinging is primarily a social activity - recreational sex. Just like bowling but the balls are always the right size and you don't have to wear someone else's shoes. ANd just like other social activities, good manners, goes a long way to being successful. Here are just a few things to consider. For a more extensive list, view our article on etiquette.
- Be pleasant, not pushy
- Don't push the dress code
- NO DRUGS
- Make reservations if required, and if you can't attend, call to cancel
- If it's a BYOB club, be sure to bring your own bottle, don't try to mooch from someone else's
What to bring
- Your own booze, if it is a BYOB club
- Condoms and lube - most clubs provide them, but it's better to bring your own
- Picture ID
How to get the most out of your experience
- Socialize. Get to know people. Don't expect that people will come up to you - they may be shy too.
- Smile. Be approachable. Don't be the couple in the corner with your arms crossed and a scowl on your face.
- Don't write the script in advance - that things must happen a certain way for you to have fun. Let things unfold.
- Set your boundaries in advance, and stick to them. Don't change your rules in the heat of passion.
- Don't overindulge. A little alcohol can help loose you up, but too much is a turn off.
- Don't feel desperate. If it doesn't come together tonight, try to set the stage for next time.
- Exchange information so you can contact someone that you are interested in outside of the club, but . . .
- Be careful what info you divulge. Better to swap emails and arrange to meet at a public place the first time.
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